Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Where are my eyes?

We are on the countdown finally to this sweet face! The face we fell in love with almost a year ago to the day that she will officially become our daughter. We first saw her face June 3, 2009 and she will officially become ours June 9, 2010.

Two weeks from right now we will be on our way. This has been a long, crazy journey and one I often have NOT understood. I have to daily remember that God sees the big picture and nothing is a surprise to Him. After we got the call that our TA(travel approval) had arrived our agency told us that we would DEFINITELY travel May 20th. We started arranging David's vacation and my substitute along with packing and planning. A couple of days later we got the call that due to a trade fair in China there were many delays and the consulate appointments were not available. We would now have to be postponed yet another week. Our travel group would be traveling May 27th now.

After this call we had to make a VERY difficult decision and one that has caused us much discouragement along with lots of prayer. If we left with this group we would miss our son's high school graduation-something we have waited and planned for many years! We had the option of waiting and going with the next group that would leave in June. This seems like it would work much better except for the fact that if we went with this group we would likely miss a family cruise planned for later in June. This isn't just any cruise! It is one that was a gift from my grandmother to 25 members of our family. She has even already purchased the trip for our little Lia, since we thought she would be home long before this vacation. So we had to choose what to miss-two very important things to our family. We talked to Brandon about it and he said it was a "no-brainer," and he understood if we missed graduation. He had planned to go along with us, but will now stay at home with his brothers to attend graduation. We will be counting on a video the day we get home!
I have dealt with much disappointment realizing I will miss such an important day. Even in the midst of my excitement to go get my little girl, I have dealt with sadness that has been clouding a bit of the joy. God, however, has been doing an amazing work though, because as I focus on HIM, He keeps reminding me that there is no disappointment in Him(Psalm 22:5). I have continually been reminded to keep my eyes focused on my Father and He will continue to give me a peace that passes all understanding.

I don't know about you, but I can read scripture over and over and then all of a sudden the same verse hits me over the head with a whole new meaning. This past week He reminded me that even though He promises to fulfill the desires of my heart, those same desires may also come with moments of sadness. These are the moments when He promises to be the encourager that I need and He promises to hear my cries.

He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them.

Psalm 145:19 (King James Version)

I am learning that even when life doesn't go the way I planned, God has a plan far greater,

Psalm 25:15 has gently reminded me that,

"As my eyes are ever on the Lord, only He will release my feet from the snare."

For me that snare has been one of disappointment with the way I thought things should go. I am discovering though that His peace really can be what releases my feet from the snare.

He can do it for you too! Seek his face and in Him there is no disappointment.


Lori said...

Oh friend! I'm so sorry you had to make such incredible tough decisions about when to travel. But in light of eternity, God must have a really good reason for you to go at that time...who knows, someone whom the Lord brings into your path during this trip may come to salvation as a result. Or maybe an important seed needs to be planted...that someone else will come along and water.

Anyway, I feel badly for your heart as a Mama, having to miss your precious son's graduation. But what a great attitude he has! And you are right, in the big picture it all makes perfect sense.

Can't wait to follow along to China!

Tiffany said...

This answers my questions, Got Brandon's grad party invite in the mail.... May first thought was wait! May 20th is the day...

Anonymous said...

Suzette, I just found out the May 20 date had been moved to May 27. I immediately thought of your family as I had read your post about getting back just in time for graduation.

We are *very hopeful* to be leaving with you on May 27. Things still have to happen but we're so hopeful. I would love to see your little girl as I am admittedly partial to the children with heart disease.

I'm assuming your DD does not need surgery since you have this cruise coming up. That is great! And bless your son's heart. I can't imagine having to make the decision you did, but you must be so proud of his selflessness.

*Overflowing* said...

My friend, I'm sorry for the tough decisions! I am praying for peace! I'm excited that the time has finally come for you to hold your girl!! YAY!!!

tara said...

BoBo..if anyone can handle what God offers it is YOU! You are such an inspiration because you take everything knowing that GOD has a plan for everything you are going through. I love you and praying that all goes smoothly from here on.

Rachel said...

Praying for you. It is amazing to see how healthy she is, it is so encouraging as we anticipate Lily's surgury - she is so frail right now. I have spoken to a cardiologist, and as soon as we know when we are traveling we will set up an appointment. Right now we are waiting on our I-800. Praying things move fast.